054: From Conflict to Connection: The Transformative Impact of Social Emotional Learning in the Classroom

There were mere weeks left in the school year, and in a rare moment of quiet, I checked emails before the class returned from lunch. Before long, I heard the bustle of students coming back into the building, and three of my Grade 3 boys hurtled through the door, desperate to be the first to speak to me.

With raised voices, they simultaneously told me of a conflict during playtime. Accusations of cheating and playing unfairly were thrown around, as well as stories of unkind reactions to said cheating. I needed to halt them immediately, reminding them that we couldn’t understand anything when we talked over each other. 

I could see them all take a breath and then look toward each other to see who would take the first turn to speak. They continued telling their perspectives, listening and responding to each other, making sure not to speak over the top of each other.

I occasionally intervened with the prompts they are now very familiar with:

“How did it make you/them feel when that happened?”

“Did your response make the problem bigger or smaller?”

“What other strategies could you have used to deal with this?”

“Next time something like this happens, what will you do?”

And finally, “Is there anything we can do now to help repair our friendships?”

I watched as these nine-year-olds turned to each other and apologized, suggesting another game to play later. They then turned and walked back to their desks.

Even though those of us working in elementary classrooms deal with these conversations frequently, oftentimes numerous times a day, this one struck something in me. I saw the payoff for our work this year happening right before me. When I think about seeing a ‘pay-off’ in the classroom, I’m reminded of the term Return on Investment commonly used in business.

In simple terms, an ROI measures profitability compared to the investment made. In this classroom context, the investment was the time spent working with the students to develop their social and emotional capacity. The related profit can be seen as the students implementing their knowledge with reduced adult support.

The work we had done collectively throughout the year to explicitly teach, model, and discuss through thousands of little conversations, was now coming together in this interaction. 

The weekly guided mindfulness sessions, class discussions, as-needed interactions, and conflict management lessons generated this ‘profit.’ I thought back to how this same scenario would have gone at the start of the school year, and I know for certain that it would have taken significantly more time, patience, and effort to navigate and support the students through that conflict. The investment I had made to work with my class through their social emotional needs was now paying off, and I could see their progress in handling these situations. 

I called the three boys back and told them how impressed I was to see them calmly, thoughtfully, and empathetically handling that situation. And I reminded myself to remember this at the start of next year when managing those conflicts feels frustratingly difficult. 

Even though starting with each fresh group of students in front of you can feel laborious, it will ultimately be worth the effort. Put in the work with social emotional learning (the investment), and you will undoubtedly see the rewards (the profit) as the year progresses.

Contributed by C.Y. Arnold, Plan Z Professional Learning Services

C.Y. Arnold is an Australian educator working both at home and abroad. She has worked in Australia, Japan, Singapore, Belgium, and the Netherlands as a teacher, coach, mentor, co-teacher, coordinator, tutor, and supervisor from early childhood education to adult education in the university sector. Her dedication to the field of education has led her to serve on the board of the Singapore chapter of SENIA, publish educational articles, and present at various international and Australian conferences. Christine’s interests in education include exploring research-based pedagogy and practice, inclusive education, quality early childhood education, inquiry, and promoting well-being for our students and teaching colleagues. In addition, she is the co-author of The Minimalist Teacher, published by ASCD. Connect with Christine via her ASCD Column and Twitter.