028: Finding a Balance

While working in a district a few weeks ago, I ran into a colleague with whom I had taken doctoral classes. I shared that I’d be defending my dissertation in a few weeks. I was a little embarrassed to share that it has taken me nine years to get to this point. She shared with me that it took her the same amount of time - and then added a little bit more. Our conversation went like this,

 L: “I thought I was ready to be finished. I had my next big goal in mind.”

 Me: “Oh! I am ready for that! I want to learn Sign Language and Spanish.”

 L: “They don’t tell you that many of us slip into a depression after we finish. I ended up seeing a therapist for a while. My advice to you: Rest and rejuvenation IS a goal. I realized that I didn’t have any hobbies or activities that brought me joy.”

 I felt seen. And exposed.

 During these last nine years, I set boundaries that I would not put the writing process over my family. For me, this meant no more late nights of studying or writing, which often would lead me to be grumpy and irritable. 

 I started my own small educational consulting business - to fill my passion and to provide for my family since I was in a single-income household.

 I dropped all the activities that I had before I entered my doctoral program.

I had no hobbies. All I did was “work.” But, it never felt like “work;” I LOVE my “work.”

 As my defense date approaches, I’ve made a more concerted effort to reclaim activities that bring me joy - and are not related to my work.

• * I started knitting again; I am not sure what I am making, but I enjoy creating while watching tv instead of being on my computer. 
• * I am taking early morning walks with friends and signing up for yoga and tai chi classes.
• * I added non-fiction books into my rotation of educational books. 
• * I look forward to kayaking in the local reservoir on the weekends. 

 I DO plan to learn how to sign and speak Spanish fluently. But, I think I might take some time to establish my hobbies as habits before adding another big goal to my plate. 

What hobbies are foundational to your joy and peace of mind?
Please share and tag us!