013: Oreos and Empathy

In February 2020, a dear friend and I had just taken a seat in a subway in New York City on our way to see a Broadway show. I glanced up at the row of seats across from us and noticed that a man sat alone in the middle of the seats. He was hunched over, and I saw that his right hand was casually making its way towards the dirt-trodden floor of the subway. He reached for a broken piece of Oreo cookie, remnants of a nearly empty carton that had been tossed on the floor by a former passenger. He slowly brought the cookie piece up and inserted it into his mouth with his head still down. Then reached back down for another broken portion. 

I noticed that more passengers got on, and no one sat next to the man, instead preferring to huddle closer to each other, remaining separated from him. My friend and I continued our conversation, but I couldn't stop the thoughts running through my brain. "He must be so hungry!" "I hate being hungry!" "How can I help?" "What can I do?" "Do I have cash for food?" "Do I have random snacks in my bag right now?" 

As our stop approached, I searched through my bag and found two protein bars. As the subway slowed to a stop, I held them out to the man and said, "Sir, I have these two protein bars. Would you like them?" 

He looked up at me and replied, "Yes, thank you."

Once we stepped off the subway at our stop, my friend looked at me and said, "I knew you weren't going to get off without doing something. I saw him, too. I felt for him. But I didn't feel compelled to act the way you did."

Our most recent newsletter shares Dr. Emiliana Simon-Thomas's research on Empathy. Simon-Thomas describes the type of Empathy I felt as affective empathy, which motivated me to take compassionate action, while my friend experienced cognitive empathy. 

When realizing how complex the concept of Empathy is and how it can present differently as we experience it, it might seem daunting to teach this skill to students. In our upcoming newsletter, we'll explore strategies to introduce the concept of Empathy and develop it as a critical life skill for success.

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